From Lesly

Feedback From Our Forensics Competitions

By lesly kahn | July 25, 2014

Collin P. wrote the following letter to me in response to some concerns that were raised about a program we’re working on in class called Forensics, in which everyone performs their scene several times in front of an audience, competitively. Pretty freakin’ rad.

Well, I think forensics is challenging and hard and difficult and frustrating, and potentially demoralizing. And I think all of that is GREAT! It sucks to find out I’m not the golden child. It sucks to realize that there are better looking people who are (currently) better actors than I am. And it is by going through all of this learning, and pushing, and trudging, that we will become carved out of stone. We will become apex predators of the acting scene. I have been a whiner and complainer. And now I’m seeing the light. I learned in my Butoh (avant garde Japanese dance theater art) class in college that it is when we push past the point of exhaustion that we reach the place of raw truth. I busted my ass the week of and the week after forensics. At each rehearsal I’d work it, trying new thoughts, new points of view, testing and testing to no end, and wind up hitting a ceiling. Then in class, with two notes from Tim Davis and Trisha, my Ray/Josie scene hit the sweet spot. My Vinnie scene also blossomed from putting so much work in. Part of why I am as “good” (I have no idea how well I act in the grand scheme of things, my ego/alcoholism/spiritual malady prevents me from an accurate self assessment) as I (think I) am is because I did Beckett, Pinter, and Shakespeare in college.

Doing a series of one act Beckett plays my Sophomore year was the most brutal rehearsal process I’ve ever been through. Four hours of intense physical and emotional work each evening on top of our full course load. We complained, some cried, we were exhausted. And when that curtain went up we blew people’s fucking minds!!

I’m growing and changing as a person, as a man. And I feel like I’m on the verge of finally becoming the type of ninja assassin actor I’ve dreamed of being. Not because I’m going to nail every scene. Because I’m going to train until my knuckles are raw and my legs burn, and then I’m going to train past that. And I’m going to have FUN every second of it. Having three different scene partners for forensics and the following week was awesome. I felt like I was really working out my acting muscles. I’ve done all the socializing. I’ve done all the lazy Sundays. I’m not interested in that anymore. I am interested in being a part of the SEAL Team 6 of fucking acting.

Thank you for pushing, stretching, and molding those of us who are willing. And for not giving up on those of us who are late bloomers.

Love,

CDP

— E Pluribus Unum

This second, equally amazing letter is from Jeremy M.:

I love doing the more classic material because its a helluva mix with the really very superficial material we usually tackle and can actually challenge us to be great actors (I think we’re training different types of muscles here, with the TV stuff, it’s material that’s not that good that we have to make good as actors, vs classical stuff we have to get out of the way of and let the writing shine, or even elevate it. Plus, one is to get established in the industry, the other is hopefully us at our apex. So they both have major value).

Secondly, I LOOOOVE the COMPETITION aspect of it. Sure, blah blah blah we’re always on the line and being rejected yada yada but that’s mostly INVISIBLE. People tell us we did great and then we don’t get booked and we wonder. This forum provides a CLEAR, MEASURABLE, result for us to gauge our progress from. It’s SCIENTIFIC. We go in with such and such plan, and here are the results. And here’s the feedback to try for next time to improve the results.

I also think it’s huge for us to work on cutting our own scenes and having a lot of material to look at. Thinking like a writer forces us to deeply analyze what’s happening in a scene, why, and what each moment means, and not just gloss over stuff and trust in your watchability or believability.

And the workload is an important, and positive thing too. If we want to be great, or at least succeed, we need to be overwhelmed and drowning in material. How else are we going to get exposure to great material when we already have 5 pressing commitments at every given time, and can never get around to the fundamental learning that we need to be doing? Unless it’s forced on us.

Oh and also it’s incredibly MOTIVATING to try to beat people. It just makes class a whole lot more fun.

And finally, there’s this letter:

The way I’m looking at Forensics (based on my experience last month) is that it’s something new to try that is different from the same audition tv/film sides we do every other week. Just in the way BOTOC is something new to try. I can’t eat spinach every day. Sometimes, you have to rotate your greens and chew some kale. Even if it’s not my most favorite thing to do at the moment. I’m still learning things, I’m still creating new brain synapses and it is all acting related. FUCKING AWESOME.

Here’s another haggard (yet Kahnstitute-appropriate) analogy…I freaking LOOOAAATTTTHHHHEEE BOTOC. (Sorry. I do.) However, I recognize that it is a bonding experience that helps me create networking blah blah relationships with my blah blah fellow classmates blah whine whine blah blah. Go team. Other people love it, who am I to get in their way?

Additionally, I am not gonna love every freaking job that I get. Period. So isn’t it a much better use of my time to focus on finding a way to enjoy myself and still learn in a less than inspiring situation? I, personally, find it INSANELY useful/helpful/appropriate to PRACTICE reminding myself that I am a freaking adult (who aspires to be a PROFESSIONAL actor) and to find more and more effective ways of handling myself in “less than ideal” scenarios while testing all outcomes. Outcomes that will help me procure WIN/WIN results for all parties involved. I believe that the way you do any one thing is the way you do everything. I like to think that’s the way to sustain a career.

So, since I have accepted that I don’t know everything and that I am not a foreseer of the future, guess what? This past December, when BOTOC came around, I DIDN’T HATE IT! Shocking. I. Know. I had (some) fun! And every moment of it was unexpected because, before-hand, I was damn sure that I would hate it, yet-again. I WAS WRONG. YAY! thank goodness I don’t know everything!! Life would be sooooooooooooooooo boring if I did!!!!!!!!!!! So thank you for creating an opportunity in which I could be WRONG! YAY!!!

I have the same hope for Forensics. Some will love it, some will hate it. Some will become believers and some will turn coats a few months down the line. Honestly, who cares? I know YOU do, Les. I, frankly, don’t really care if Forensics it’s “wrong” or if it ends up being some horrific joke that we mock in our next BOTOC. We’re all gonna have a good laugh, become better actors, and be just fine. Regardless.

Moving forward, for all our sakes, I hope that all participants (myself included) decide to just work. Whether we work on Forensics, BOTOC, comedy, drama, multi-cam, single-cam, indie film, whatever…we’ll all be better actors (and people) for it. Period.

Love,

Anonymous

Here’s some feedback from our July 2015 Forensics Kahnpetition:

First of all, we just didn’t listen the way we are capable of, which is fundamentally NOT OK. Also, we decided, because we’re GENIUSES, to compete a scene that had each of us doing each other’s strengths, rather than our own strengths. Guess who’s great at high stakes neurosis and decided to play someone with mild stakes and loving, calming thoughts? Guess who else is great at mild stakes and loving, calming thoughts and decided to play someone with neurosis and stakes through the goddam roof? WHYYY would we do that? WHYYY would we not do what we’re good at? (To be fair, we did it because we liked the reversal, but that’s not the lesson here). We had a bad night. We had a Come to Jesus chat afterward where we decided that:

a) We can never NOT listen. Like ever. EVER!

b) We shouldn’t do material we’re bad at in public. This town is such a hard place that to do anything less than what we’re great at in front of people is NOT SMART. So, let’s get really good at all things and strengthen our weaknesses (I’ll get better at having loving, lower stakes thoughts and my partner will get better at having neurotic, high as fuck stakes thoughts) in the PRIVACY of our rehearsals and classes. Until then, however, let’s just do what we’re good at when we PUT IT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE’S EYESSSSSS.

But you know what, this is all good. We needed to have a bad night. It forced us to take a step back and be objective about our work and decisions and we learned a lot. Sometimes you gotta eat crow. As they say, crow doesn’t taste good, but it is nutritious. And my God, did we get a fuck-ton of nutrients! J.

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I think you turned me. I think the process of forensics and the purpose of it is EXACLTY what we all need! We have to train and perform like athletes/comics/writers, subjecting ourselves to the uncomfortable, the unnatural, the critique, the competitive nature. It is what the industry requires to book the work so why are we not putting ourselves in those situations as preparation? You can’t prepare for a feeling, you have to feel the feeling and make it a comfortable (familiar) part of the process. That’s why bombing a comedy set is just as important as crushing. Because when it’s done you realize you didn’t die, your life isn’t over, your dreams are not forever crushed and you vow to never let it happen again. So I think I’m saying thanks. M.

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I want to do Forensics again! Like ASAP! It was such a great learning experience for me and by the last room I visited, I truly embodied the “fuck it” mentality of your school and let it all hang out (which is when I had the most fun!!!). I hope we do it again soon. The more I do it, the more at ease I’ll feel with not pushing and not waiting for laughs. It was sensationally educational and exciting at the same time! So thank you!!! J.

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I think that you and this wonderful place you have created is absolutely FUCKING WONDERFUL. I learn EVERY TIME I enter your doors. The fact that you GIVE so much of yourself to all of us is nothing short or miraculous. THANK YOU! I wish I had come here earlier. But, no looking behind, only forward. M.

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Thank you. I had so much resistance to forensics at first. I didn’t have time, I didn’t LOVE my performance choices, I knew it wasn’t going to be a representation of my best work. The first forensics I was happy to escape due to work. Phew, an excuse not to put myself out there. The second, I thought I was out of the fray when even I voted my scene out of it, but the night before we got the email saying we were in, I was hoping my partner would say two scenes would be too much for him, but he was game so I said, “fuck it” and did it. Man, am I glad that I did. I learned so much — not just about the acting stuff, but also about myself, and I had a LOT of fun. I had forgotten speech team was literally how I fell in love with performing. I LOVED IT. And somewhere along the line I’d forgotten that love, and let all of the other bologna get in the way. Its wonderful to remember that in a lot of ways I’m still the same girl I was at my very first speech meet in 5th grade who performed a comically bratty monologue entitled, “Oh Mom” and won a first place ribbon. That being said, I also realized how much resistance I have to really “putting myself out there.” I’ve been talking to your lovely sister Genie [geniekahn.blogspot.com] for the past month or so, and she’s been fantastic. We spoke after forensics and I expressed how I was so happy with forensics, but so disappointed with myself for not putting in the effort to make it something I would be proud of, I kind of just got through it, and what a waste of a beautiful opportunity. We talked about how I’m holding myself back in order to protect myself. The whole, “if I put everything out on the table and I still don’t make it, then I would be working so hard, and have given up so much for nothing.” But Genie astutely pointed out that if I don’t put everything out on the table, then I’m never going to get to where I’m going anyway, so I might as well REALLY go for it. So that’s what I’m going to try to do. Put in 150%, stop worrying about failing, and start performing with only my whole heart on the line. So thank you. Thank you for providing a space where we can perform, learn, and grow as people and actors. Thank you for creating a community of actors that I have so desperately missed since my days in Chicago. Thank you for the gentle/aggressive nudges in the right direction amidst all of my resistance. Thank you for caring so much about us to not let up, to keep us moving forward no matter how stuck.

Lots of love and admiration, S.

From Lesly

Feedback From Our Forensics Competitions

Class Placement

Be Objective

Patience Vs. Pursuit